A eulogy’s responsibility is to allow a room full of people to see the person. That is done through specific details: how he answered the phone; what she always brought to a barbecue. It is not done through the adjectives used to say how much a person will be missed.
You can fill out forms whenever you feel most comfortable. We’ll customize your order based on what you send us. Writing down something you can easily say is our goal. We get it if you’re avoiding any and all verbal interactions. Filling out the form alone is completely ok.
Each case of grief has subtle differences. That is why a stranger has to pay special attention when writing about it. There is no replacement for good judgment. What does this family need? What do they want this eulogy to convey? The writer should feel at some level if the Roast is appropriate here to make the family laugh, or if it’s better to let mourning be serious. It’s good to make jokes he would have loved to hear, but what if they are the kind of jokes that could potentially wound? There is no way to know that.
Generated eulogies say something generic about everyone. They say that so-and-so lived a life surrounded by love and laughter, and add something about that person watching over us from above. Immediately, families recognize the gap because what they really need is that one detail only they know, and averaging certainly loss that.
You submit whatever you can to the writer: stories you remember, fragments of memories, things people said at the hospital. A call, if you have the energy to make one, also helps the writer. The writer looks for two or three bits of information that would elicit a nod from the audience and writes down what you would say. They won’t write in formal language because the audience in the room already knows how you speak.
The last pass is practical. The length of each sentence is limited to what can fit in a single breath, places for natural pauses are included, and the worst line is no longer last so you are not saying the worst thing last and then carrying it with you over the last words. A pronunciation aid is provided for every name.
One rate, whatever the format: $10 per 100 words. You are paying for the writer’s time and judgement, so the price scales with the words rather than with a package tier.
| Typical funeral speech | Words | Writing | Fee (1%) | You pay |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Short tribute (3 minutes) | 400 | $40 | $0.40 | $40.40 |
| Full eulogy (6-8 minutes) | 900 | $90 | $0.90 | $90.90 |
| Eulogy with committal words | 1,400 | $140 | $1.40 | $141.40 |
The writer receives 100% of the writing price. Our 1% fee is added on top of it, and 0.5% is donated to tree planting. Full pricing breakdown.
Every format is priced identically: $10 per 100 words plus a 1% platform fee. A 900-word funeral speech comes to $90.90. There is no research surcharge, no rush tier and no minimum retainer.
Up to 3 days. The writer has to read around the subject before writing it, so we quote honestly rather than promising an hour. If your deadline is tighter, say so in the brief and we will tell you before you pay whether we can meet it.
When you fill out the provided form, please include a date and time for the service. We will get back to you before you have to pay anything. Most of these services have filled-in forms, time estimates, and clear instructions because writers set aside time for their orders to be completed, but we would instead be honest and turn away business we cannot fulfill.
Yes, and explain this in your brief. The writer leaves behind wording and phrasing that only you can use, includes some pronunciation guides, and notes a place where they expect the reader to take a breath and where another person can naturally resume reading if the reader wasn’t able to continue.
Completely. Copyright transfers to you on delivery, with no attribution requirement and no licence back to us. Nothing written for you is resold, repurposed or republished.
Reviews from completed, paid orders in this category.
For my dad’s eightieth, I wanted him to have a short story written based on an old famliy vacation from 1974. I was not expecting a literary masterpiece since I just needed something to read to the family after dinner. However, there is a part where he breaks a deckchair and I didn’t even include that and it is just perfect.
My voicemails have bordered on the rambly side while my sentences have been fragmented. Your speech has referenced four of my voicemails, and you even quoted them verbatim. Granted, you didn’t even touch the other voicemails and sentences. This blatant disregard is how you should prioritize and frankly is the ratio you should have.
Project it to fifty people in a barn with terrible acoustics. Short. One idea each. It reached the back. I’ve since learned this was done with intention and was not just a matter of luck.
We do not ask you to take the no-AI promise on trust. Each draft is run through these platforms and the reports are attached to your delivery email.
Originality.aiAI detection + plagiarism
GPTZeroAI detection
TurnitinAI detection + similarity
CopyleaksAI detection + plagiarism
Winston AIAI detection
ZeroGPTAI detection
SaplingAI detection
Content at ScaleAI detection
Send the brief, get a human draft back within 3 days. No account, no subscription, no AI.
$10 per 100 words · all of it to the writer · 0.5% to trees